Many of my friends and family know that I have struggled with petite mal seizures for some time now. This past week I went for my first appointment at the Texas Medical Center in Houston to see a neurologist who specializes in epilepsy. I had some pretty lofty expectations going in to the appointment. My local neurologist and I had been working on this for many months, experimenting with new medications, combinations of medicine and ongoing monitoring. My idea was that at some point we would magically find the medication that worked virtually overnight. I figured since I was seeing a Doctor who dealt with this all the time I would now be on a “fast track” to healing.
In my first meeting with the new neurologist I was in fact very impressed. It was obvious that I was dealing with a man who faces this issue every day and focuses his entire medical career on treating this issue. Unfortunately, along with the expertise comes the reality. He told me two things I did not want to hear. The first was that it would realistically take about six months to evaluate the effectiveness of the first medication. Six months! I had, patient personality that I am, been willing to give it at least six weeks, but six months! I was not a happy camper.
The second thing he told me was that there is the possibility that they would never be able to completely alleviate the seizures. Control yes, eradicate, maybe, maybe not. Suffice it to say that neither of these two pieces of information brought me great comfort. Actually I was pretty dejected (and a little angry).
That evening we had our men’s ministry meeting. We had a guest speaker; I was thankful I was not on the slate this night. The God ordained topic of his Bible Study: “God is in control.”
Yes He is. God may heal me, He may not. If He chooses not to relieve me then this one thing is true, being content in my circumstances means finding joy in the truth that God may not heal but He always strengthens. That’s the kind of thing you can do when you are in control! I’m glad He is in control and I am not.